About Twilight

1. The light perceived before the rising, and after the setting, of the sun.

2. faint light; a dubious or uncertain medium through which anything is viewed.

I started this for a very particular purpose; to journal the time in my life caring for my ailing grandparents. It is about them, and about me. Here I track their decline, and also my thoughts and struggles. I write first for myself, though I am allowing a few others to follow along. There is no beautiful prose here, only hastily written words so often put down in the late hours of the night.

When most people speak about the twilight years of someone’s life they are speaking about the last light of life before the darkness of death descends. However, I have appropriated the word because I appreciate the ambiguity in the word’s meaning. For the Christian we look with eyes of faith on the present twilight and see the approaching dawn of resurrection life with our Savior. For the unbeliever this twilight will give way to the utter darkness into which they shall be cast at the return of our Lord.

One might say the aged and dying are in the twilight of their life, but is that an expression of hope or despair? It depends with what eyes you see. And, if one stops to think, there comes the realization that in the face of eternity we all spend our few years of this mortal life dwelling in the twilight awaiting the dawn. As it is said in 2 Peter 1:19

“And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.“

Watching someone die, and especially watching someone die in the slow and degrading path of Alzheimer’s, can bring up all sorts of questions. Faced with the suffering of others we are prone to think, “The most merciful thing would be if . . .” and thereby begin to question the mercy of God because we don’t understand the depths or the working of His mercy. And so it is good to remember the other meaning of twilight; that which is seen faintly through an uncertain medium. Truly, that is our present condition in this life. As it is said in 1 Cor 13:12

“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.“

So it is now, when faced with the ravages of sin and what seems the unbearable suffering evident all around us, we declare by faith that God is holy, merciful, and just. And we wait in hope as

we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies” (Romans 8:23).

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